Diagnosis Day

The day I have been dreading since that horrid red spot showed up after 24 hours. I already knew deep inside of me that the test was positive, but I couldn't admit it to myself just yet. I went into the doctor and was sat in the chair in the middle of the room (not one of those tiny waiting rooms, but the general area of the practice). He asked to see my arm and simply said, "Well, it's positive." I just sat there stunned. He grabbed a ball point pen and my arm and began to mark on it with four lines leading up to each side of this hideous red spot on my arm. This kind of hurt a lot as the pen was stopped by my spot (not only is it large and red, but also raised slightly). He took out a special ruler and measured it. He announced (I would assume... he was telling me) that it was 18mm by 21mm.

I began to cry...

I couldn't contain myself. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what this all meant. What was in store for me? Was I diseased? Was I broken? Will I start coughing up blood at the drop of the hat? 

The doctor quickly got me tissues and brought me into a room so I could sit and cry without everyone watching me. He began to reassure me and tell me it was all going to be okay. The thing running through my head was... "No its not! They have walks for this disease! They pledge and raise money! People die from this!!" Unfortunately for me I was all alone at this dreadful doctor's appointment. I tried so hard to listen to the doctor, to gain some understanding, to see what was in my future as the walking dead. 

I learned that I needed to get a chest x-ray, have another urine test... this one being different... and that I would need to be back the following week. There are two variances of TB. One is the full blown disease in which people do cough up blood, they infect others, they potentially die, and they have calcified portions of their lung. The second is simply being infect with TB. These people look, act, and feel normal. They may have no idea that they have TB (unless they have the skin test), they do not infect other people, and they do have the potential of getting the full blown disease, but no one can say when. My doctor assured me he was almost certain that I was merely infect, but we would figure it out and gain a better handle on this after the chest x-ray. 

Either way... I was told to do some research on my own to gain an understanding. The doctor also asked that my husband give him a call to explain it all to him. Wise man that doctor... because I only heard about half the stuff he said... I had my impending death (in my mind... though not true) to worry about. This also proved helpful because it calmed down Brian who was rather agitated by the news as well. I suppose he doesn't want his new bride to be dealing with all this... though I cant blame him. I didn't want to deal with it!